The ideas in struggle were:
1) The music I enjoy perhaps the most (not the only kind I enjoy, but the kind I always go back to) is one where technique means shit; a guy singing in a goofy way, a guitar that sounds like a door buzzer, can bring me tears of joy or rage, as long as there is feeling in that thing, as long as I hear something genuine and human taking place there. Punk bands of one single, Mr. Nobodies giving all they got, I love that stuff and look for it and dance to it and live for it and can't get enough of it.
2) The music I intend to make, for a long time, has been burdened by something that was almost a "superstition" of technique. I compose easily, but when the moment comes to make that composition real, take it to the world, for others to listen, the "technical fear" cripples in: oh, but will this compression parameters will be alright? Oh, but doesn't the voice track distorts at a couple of places that I wasn't able to fix?
I wonder how much of the music that the 70's punk gave us would we have if it had been dragged down by this kind of self doubt. But that's impossible, because punk precisely started as a rebellion against the excesses of technique and technification. Its intention was to bring back music to humans, everybody could and should make a band: say what you mean, mean what you say, give it a beat, go.
The world is in a pretty fucked up situation right now. At the same time, we have access to technological resources impossible to even dream of a few years ago. We have to hold the tool with a firm hand, make our way through the tough choices, and get stuff done, stuff that is meaningful (no matter what levels the compression uses).
So my kinda resolution is keeping things punk. It's not about being deliberately sloppy, either, but about keeping it real. I make punk, I make hardcore, with incursions in thrash, death, stoner. In these genres, things have to move quick. Overproduction, overcooking, is more for bubble gum pop, the stuff for delicate stomachs. I like the rawness of something put out there quick, for others to enjoy. That's what culture means. Making a contribution.
My recording gear and etc is demo level. I should see that as an advantage. I also think it is healthy the attitude of Washington's punk bands from the 80-90s, where punk intended to create meeting spaces for people (when people meet, stuff can happen); they were not about generating a "product" but about becoming kind of the center of a wheel, for others to be the wheel.
So, well, my resolution is difficult to specify, I'm still working on it and I'm afraid it's too soon to formulate it without making it stiff, but yeah, I guess it's that, I'm trying to keep it real, and punk, keeping stuff coming out. Not only the product is punk, but this way of making things happen is a punk statement too...